In a world where we are extremely combative and obsessively defensive of our “personal spaces, mental health, and personal perspectives,” it would seem self-destructive to try to understand someone else — from their perspective.
We judge without understanding our culprits. Criticize simply because it feels wrong. Demonize because the angel is us and we are the angels. Sometimes, we’re both angelic and demonic.
We draw lines, create bubbles of friends and of family. Sometimes, of self, unwilling to let others in. More divided than we are united, modernity seems inherently anti-human. And yet, we want to be understood properly, asked for clarifications when our statements are somewhat vague. Of course, it would be vague. You’re not me, so why would I expect to understand all you say?
Relationships end, marriages fracture, hearts thrown in turmoil. Because someone failed to ask: “sorry, can you explain in more detail?” Someone failed to realize that “they are human, just like me.”
We embrace the idea of choices, thinking we can swap one for another, a delusion of high grandeur. Why not start thinking “this is unique.” I know why. It’s difficult, requires work with the heart and mind.
Allah created everything in truth. I’m not you. So, there is something true about you that’s not in me, or anyone else I’ve ever met. What’s that truth? Tell me. What’s your name? Before I point a finger at you. Or unreflectively assert your claim with a nod. Do we reflect? Really, do we?
Because in the end, what we judge others for lies in our souls. What we criticize is what we’d end up asserting. In an infinitesimally divided world, we see others as “others” before we see everyone as “us.” When does “us” begin to exist?
Are we human or hurt? We can be human and hurt. But, which takes precedence? Our humanity or our pain? Let’s assume it’s the pain that takes precedence in our hearts. I opine that realists are partial pessimists. V. Frankl said that “Idealists are the real realists.” Let’s lie to ourselves once more and say “I’m more human than I am hurt.” That we are human than we are “betrayed.” Rather, Muslims. The optimist is the real realist, realistic about human nature and trust in God’s plan for them.
If you ask me, I’d say that all of this boils down to one thing: lack of trust. So, who or what do you trust? Who or what should we trust?
— Umar Hfe.
September 30th, 2023.
This is beautifully written.